Monday, March 30, 2009

No Reservations & After fight Brain Storming

I was watching movie "No Reservations" and i came across a quite usual scene, but it made me to think for a while. It is the scene where Kate (Catherine Zeta-Jones) and Nick (Aaron Eckhart) had a fight and were not talking to each other. When Kate's 12 year old niece, Zoe (Abigail Breslin), who is living with her, asks Kate on whey they were fighting, Kate gives a pause, like a pause at the starting of an explanation, but then just dismisses her by saying that its just silly adult stuff.

While I was watching that scene, I was actually expecting how Kate was going to reply to that kid, even though I was following the story. Weird Curiosity... eh?
. Anyways, later, I was just imagining, what if Kate had actually tried to explain honestly to that kid why she was fighting. The conversation could have been something like this.

Zoe: So, whey are you guys fighting?
Kate: I told Nick that he betrayed me. And, he did not agree with it.
Zoe: What did he do to betray you?
Kate: Well, He was doing a good cooking and was handling my kitchen in my absence. But, I think he lied to me saying that he wanted to learn from me. And, I think he went behind my back and tried to rob my job. And, later he said that he has been offered my job.
Zoe: So, you are only sure of him being offered the job and not sure of the reasons and you are assuming them.
Kate: True. But, he was doing things that was threatening my job.
Zoe: Did you ask him about the reasons?
Kate: Yes. But he disagreed about the reasons. He said he did not betray me. But, I don't believe him. And that is why we are in a fight.
Zoe: So, You don't trust him?
Kate: No.
Zoe: OK, have you lost your job? Has he taken your job.
Kate: No & No
Zoe: Seems like he was not lying as he not taken your job which was the basis of you assumptions.
Kate: True.
Zoe: So, why are you still angry at him?
Kate: I don't know. Now I realize, I couldn't take it that Nick was succeeding and I feared that I might be replaced as Nick was advancing in his talents. So, I got angry at him.
Zoe: So, you got angry at him because of your insecurities?
Kate: well, yes.

As you might have noticed, Kate was wrong about the reasons which was why the fight came up. Until she had this [imaginative] conversation, she was convinced about the reasons. If only, she had this conversation, she could have called up Nick and patched things up.
Now, from the above conversations please note the following:
  • Most of the time when we get in a fight, its better to revisit the whole scenario, to actually get to the root cause of the problem. So, try to have this conversation [with a Zoe of your choice] whenever you have had a fight/row with your friends or close ones.
  • Your Zoe character might not necessarily be a 12 year old kid. You might not be well received if you try that. But, it could be your friend who is unaffected by the problem/fight. Or you can have the conversation with yourself.
  • At the whole conversation, if you are still convinced, then your fight was meaningful. But, most of the times, you will gain many insights about yourself in the middle of the conversation itself.
  • The outcome of this kind of After-fight-brain-storming might actually help you get a perspective and help you get over your ego and actually resolve a fight.
Now, let me think. When was the last time i had a fight? And who is going to be my Zoe?

2 comments:

d wanderer said...

profound!!

Abhiush said...

Hey Santy,

That was a good insight ..hope it helps u too he he :p..good work keep writing ..i appreciate ur writing skills.

Sush